When I was looking for off-white paint for the ceiling medallion I pulled every can out of the back of the laundry room closet and opened them. Fascinating. I didn’t know paint could devolve into such a variety of sludges, oil slicks and moldy terrariums. I packed up 2 boxes for the toxic waste recycling center. That brings me to 129. I found out they’ll take TV’s too, but my big one is too heavy for me to lift by myself, and my little one is buried in the back corner of the Studio. I’ll get to them later.

Meanwhile, no further progress has been made on the chandelier installation in the Throne Room. No.8 Sis recommended a good electrician and I’ve called him 4 times. He answered the first time, but he didn’t set an appointment, and since then he’s ignored my calls. Perhaps I shouldn’t have described the situation so thoroughly, what with the tiny room and the even tinier wires. I should have left all of that as a surprise.

Since I’m pretty sure what the problem is with the chandelier, I’m tempted to give it a third try. I just don’t think my neck can take any more overhead work, though. It’s pretty messed up and my chiropractor, Dr. Doogie, will not be happy.

My neck problems started years ago, when I was in Catholic high school. Sr. Leo ran the school library and she was an unholy terror. There was to be absolutely no talking in the library, but I was quietly whispering to a friend when Sr. Leo sneaked up behind me. She lifted an unabridged dictionary high over her head and brought it down full force on my noggin. You know how when Wile E. Coyote gets hit by an anvil he gets all loopy and sees stars? That really happens. Me and my neck have never been the same.

The school sent me a fund raising letter a ways back. They wanted money to put a plaque in the library to honor Sr. Leo’s many years of dedicated service. Goddess, I hope that means she’s dead. I know, I know. I’m going to hell, but that’s where all my friends will be, so I’m okay with that.

Meanwhile, the entire Queen suite is in darkness, because it’s all on the same circuit. I may have to break down and just call an electrician from the yellow pages so light can be restored. Next time I’m just telling them they’re hanging a chandelier. Easy-peasy. Let them be surprised.

Stay tuned…