April is Keep America Beautiful month. I got an early start on it on Sunday. I ran around with a cute hat on all day while lunching and shopping with No.2 sis and No.8 Sis.

When I got home, I took the hat off and had dinner. Then I took the garbage to the curb. And I took the recycling to the curb. And I looked in the mirror when I got back in the house and saw this.

Laurel keeping America beautiful.

So THAT’S why the neighbors were giving me the side-eyed looks.

When I was in my twenties I dated a cute guy who’s name shall remain unspoken. Let’s just call him E.D. As Christmas approached, he started asking me my ring size, and whether I preferred rubies or sapphires.

I bought him several nice gifts and had them beautifully wrapped and waiting under the tree when he came over on Christmas Eve. E.D. came over with….nothing. Absolutely nothing. No card, no gift, just totally empty-handed.

I pushed him back out the door and told him not to come back until he’d bought me a gift.

He came back an hour later and tried to hand me a shopping bag from a local department store. Hell, no! Wrap it, buddy! He had to use my wrapping paper, of course.

E.D. unwrapped the lovely gifts I’d bought him, and was appropriately appreciative.

I unwrapped the presents I’d strong-armed him into buying me. The first package was a “gift-box” of fuzzy knee-high socks, the sort of socks I hadn’t worn since high school.

The second present was a plaque that said, “Keep America beautiful. Clean your room”.

So romantic. Surprisingly, we eventually found it best to go our separate ways.

Years later, I entered a Valentine’s Day radio contest for the Biggest Wanker Boyfriend. I told them the story of E.D. and I won a beautiful bouquet of flowers for having the biggest wanker for a boyfriend. It was the nicest thing E.D. ever gave me.

Stay tuned…

p.s. The Saturday Stampin’ Up party was a smashing success!

p.p.s. I shared this at Cozy Little House, and at Chic on a Shoestring.