Before cleaning the kitchen, it helps to do a little prep work.

Put the garbage can and recycling bin nearby.

Get naked, because you will be getting wet.

And remember, cursing is optional throughout the cleaning process.

kitchen, before

1. Unload the dishwasher.

2. Take down the ironing board. And by take down, I mean move to the dining room.

3. Start working your way around the room clockwise, or counterclockwise, whichever direction will bring you to your refrigerator last.

4. Ponder for a moment, with the widespread use of digital clocks, will future generations even know what clockwise and counterclockwise mean? Break into small groups and discuss.

5. Clear counters, putting dirty dishes into dishwasher. Do not sort mail and papers now. Put them on your bed so you’ll be forced to sort them before you retire for the night. Take the fire extinguisher out of the box and clip the packing ties that prevent it from functioning. Plug in the battery charger, as long as you’re here. And for Goddess’ sake, stay focused.

6. Put large pots and pitchers into sink to soak. This is where the out-of-control sprayer will soak you. I told you to get naked, didn’t I?

7. Kick the cat bowl, splashing water onto the floor. Do not stop to wipe it up. It isn’t time to mop yet.

8. Put away the toaster. Admit, after eating 2 loaves of bread and a pound of butter, that the “Can I Have Bread in the House Experiment” was a complete and utter failure.

9. Wash all the counters.

10. Wash the dishes that had been soaking in the sink. I hope you’ve taken my advice and stripped down to the skin by now.

11. Clean out the refrigerator. Put the spoiled food in a double plastic bag and put it in the freezer until garbage day. Rinse the storage containers and put them into the dishwasher. Run the dishwasher if it’s full.

12. Mop the floor.

13. Take out the garbage and recycling. I’m sorry. Get dressed, and then take out the garbage and recycling.

kitchen, clean

Awesome job! The kitchen is clean!

Stay tuned…

p.s. I shared this at Chic On a Shoestring.