Pickle Butts And Shut Up

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I made pickle wraps for No.8 Sis’ birthday party today. I schmeared a  slice of ham with soft cream cheese, and then rolled it around a big dill pickle. I repeated that about 6-8 times.

I sliced the wrapped pickles into 1/4 inch slices and served them as appetizers.

PICKLE WRAPS

PICKLE WRAPS

I know these aren’t very pretty, but they taste so good! And the bonus is that the two ends of the wrapped pickles, the pickle butts, were totally unpresentable, so I got to eat them all. Breakfast of champions.

Many years ago, I was visiting Mom in Elizabeth Fairchild. I think that’s what her one-bedroom apartment in St. Paul was called, anyway.

A bunch of other relatives were there, too, including No.1 Sis and her son, Dude. Dude had had enough of family time and wanted directions to get home to Rochester.

No.1 Sis was trying to give Dude directions, but Mom kept interrupting with an alternate route. Keep in mind, Mom had quit driving by then, and was probably trying to direct Dude via some twisty-turning bus route.

Eventually, No.1 lost her temper and shouted at Mom, “Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!”

That put a little damper on our Mother’s Day celebration.

A couple of unnamed sisters (1 and 8) were in the habit of telling me to shut up, too. Not nice.

With the encouragement of my therapist, Dr. Ima Shrink, I told them they couldn’t tell me to shut up anymore. Now they follow the letter of the law, if not the spirit.

When we played cards last weekend, I didn’t hear “shut up” once. I was shushed a time or two, asked if I was STILL talking once, and had to endure many eye-rolls while I was talking. So today’s party should fun. I’m just saying.

Stay tuned…

Red Wing, Minnesota

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I met 3 of my 5 sisters in Red Wing, Minnesota last Wednesday. No.2 Sis, No.4 Sis, No.7 Sis and I wanted to go to the nearby casino.

I was the biggest loser, of course, but that doesn’t bother me. Since the casino is on the Native American reservation, I figure all the monies I lose are reparations for my ancestors stealing Native lands. And since my Mom’s people came over on the Mayflower, I have 300-plus years of land-grabbing to make up for.

After losing at the casino (No.7 was the big winner, since she only lost $15) we went back into the town of Red Wing to see the world’s largest boot. It’s located at the Red Wing Shoe Museum. It’s a size 638D, and they say it’s too big for the Statue of Liberty to wear. How is it that I’ve lived an hour away from Red Wing for most of my life and I never knew it housed the world’s largest boot?

WORLD'S LARGEST BOOT

WORLD’S LARGEST BOOT

FROM LEFT, ME, NO.4, NO.2, AND NO.7

FROM LEFT, ME, NO.4, NO.2, AND NO.7

After the Red Wing Shoe Museum, we went to a local confectionary. It was full of the whimsical fairy-tale paintings of Juliet Crozier, including this one of The Old Lady Who Lived In a Shoe. How apropos.

THE OLD LADY WHO LIVED IN A SHOE, BY JULIET CROZIER

THE OLD LADY WHO LIVED IN A SHOE, BY JULIET CROZIER

We also had a fun oil and vinegar tasting at this shop. We each left with multiple bottles of both flavored oil and vinegar. I think my grocery list this week will be full of greens for salads. Quite unusual for me.

RED WING OLIVE OILS AND VINEGARS

RED WING OLIVE OILS AND VINEGARS

Oh, my. It turns out Red Wing has another “world’s largest”. At the Red Wing Pottery Museum we saw one of the three world’s largest jugs. It holds 70 gallons.

NO.2 SIS STANDING BY WORLD'S LARGEST JUG

NO.2 SIS STANDING BY WORLD’S LARGEST JUG

Back at home, I decided to unbox my new crockpot and make some slow-cooked beef fajitas. They turned out pretty good. When I took the liner out of the crockpot to clean it, I saw this.

OOPS

OOPS

The packing cardboard had been between the heater and crock throughout the 5 hour cooking cycle. I didn’t burn down the place, but my neighbors would be so scared if they knew me better.

Stay tuned…