I Fought The Law

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Laws of PhysicI fought the law, and the law won.

The laws of physics, that is. Specifically, the one that says two solid objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

One of the lamps I’d brought to The Lamp Ladies (Lamp Mender) just needed a shade. After I ordered the shade, I brought the lamp back home and plugged it back in, in its current shadeless state.

The outlet was behind the couch, which wasn’t a big deal while unplugging it. I just reached down a little ways and gave the cord a yank.

It was, however, a big deal to plug it in again.

I knelt on the couch, and squeezed my arm behind it to reach the outlet. I got the lamp plugged in. Unfortunately, my arm was stuck.

I tried to stand up to get better leverage to pull my arm free. Bad move.

With my arm trapped up to the armpit, I couldn’t actually get my feet flat on the floor. As I was sliding off the couch, I was torquing my arm.

For a moment, I pictured my ignominious death. After several days of awkwardly hanging off the couch, my neighbor would notice my unchanged position and call for help. It would be too late.

At no point in time did I consider chewing my arm off.

Eventually, I was able to pull free with a great deal of effort, and not a little pain.

I’m now sporting a large purple bruise on the inside of my upper arm (the least solid part of my arm, and possibly my whole body, thank goddess).

You can’t fight City Hall, and you can’t break the laws of physics.

At least my injury didn’t prevent me from enjoying our first Women’s Adventure Club outing of 2018.

Me, No.2 Sis, and our friends “P”, and “D” (left to right), went to see the belly-dancing performance at The Mediterranean Cruise Cafe in Burnsville, Minnesota.



Of course, we had a lovely Greek dinner while we there, too.

Stay tuned…

p.s. I can see from this photo that I need to start paying more than $12 for a haircut. Sigh…




Another Day, Another Festival

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Last Saturday, my BFF “C” and I went to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. Since parking is at a premium at the festival grounds, we drove to a nearby casino that was offering a shuttle service.

“C” popped into the casino’s loo, but she was much too quick. I was only able to lose $2.30 in the slot machines during her absence.

The shuttle dropped us off at the Renaissance Festival gate around 10:30 a.m., and the weather was perfect! It was 70 degrees F and sunny.

Renaissance Festival 2015

We started the day with the traditional cinnamon roll just inside the gate, and then started touring the shops in a clockwise direction (also traditional).

We weren’t too far into the festival when we came across a potter’s shop. I fell in love with little veg steamer for only $25. I wondered aloud if I could use it in the oven as a veg roaster, and the woman manning (womanning?) the counter said that I could.

I purchased the lovely lidded pot on the spot. The woman took my “Lady Visa” (I don’t have a “Master Card”) and wrapped the pot up for me. I told her I’d pick it up on the way out of the festival.

“C” also fell in love at the potter’s booth. She found a beautiful mug with a dragonfly etched on it. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to spend the money, so she decided if it was still there when we returned, she’d buy it then.

We continued on, from shop to shop. When we got to a stage that had belly dancers performing, we stopped and watched the show. “C” and I are both belly dance class drop-outs, so it’s fun to watch skilled performers.

After perusing a few more shops, and purchasing some essential oils, we sat down for Arthur Greenleaf Holmes’ performance of his Wildly Inappropriate Poetry. And it was WILDLY inappropriate! Bawdy in the extreme, and very funny.

By this time, the crowds were pressing in, the temperature had heated up to near 80 degrees (far out of my comfort range of 70-72), and “C” and I were getting very hungry. We waited in line for 20 minutes or so for slices of pizza. Renaissance pizza.

“C” and I decided we’d had enough fun for one day, so we headed back to the main gate. Then we had to backtrack to the potter’s place.

It had seemed so close to the gate coming in, but when I was hot and tired on my way out, it felt like MILES from the gate! We made it with minimal whining on my part and picked up my veg steamer/roaster. “C” looked for the mug she’d liked so much, but didn’t see it. Oh, well, que sera, sera, as my heroine Doris Day would say.

The pottery woman would have none of our “give-it-up” attitude, though. When she heard what we were looking for, she found the mug hidden behind a few others. “C” was happy to make the purchase!

We took the shuttle back to the casino, and headed straight home. And I’m proud to say, neither of us bought a single pair of earrings!

Stay tuned…